i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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