Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
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i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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