is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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