I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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