my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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