I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
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Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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