i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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