well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
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