peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize