I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize