i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize