some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize