I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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