we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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