I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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