You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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