I'm jealous of your bromance
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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