I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
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im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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