I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize