Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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