a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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