Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize