Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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