Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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