How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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