There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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