I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize