Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize