woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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