I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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