And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
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I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
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The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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