Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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