My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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