Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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