dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize