Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
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He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you will always have a special place in my vag
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
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Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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