her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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