I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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