STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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