He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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