hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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