You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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