I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
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Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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