I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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