Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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