He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
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She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
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I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
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Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
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