what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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