it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Drunk walkin through police station. America
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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