the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize