I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize